If It Kills Me

Hello, tell me you know
Yeah, you figured me out
Something gave it away
It would be such a beautiful moment
To see the look on your face
To know that I know that you know now

And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking
You know nothing
Well you and I
Why, we go carrying on for hours on end
We get along much better
Than you and your boyfriend

[Chorus:]
Well all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me

How long, can I go on like this,
Wishing to kiss you,
Before I rightly explode?
This double life I lead isn't healthy for me
In fact it makes me nervous
If I get caught I could be risking it all

Cause maybe there's a lot that I miss
In case I'm wrong

[Chorus]

If I should be so bold
I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand
I'd tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man
But I never said a word
I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again

All I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If it kills me
I think it might kill me

And all I really want from you is to feel me
Yeah, the feeling inside keeps building
I'll find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
It might kill me

lose-tears-pray

                                                                I stop walking.

I hold my breath.

I can't find what this world really wants.

I lose my way.

I cry?

Absolutely no! Yeah, I still have self-estreem.

I'm too great to show it.

I scream.

Where am I?

How can be here?

Finally, I just pray to my God and I cry in my heart

"How could I hold on in this bad world, Lord?

How could I through my life by myself?

How could I walk alone?

I spill my tears like a waterfall.

I need more mood-booster!

Well, I don't really know what I feel right now.
I just need a lot of mood-booster. I feel so static!
Oh, God. Could You give Your fire?
Yeah, I need it so much 'cause I don't want to lose Your energy.
Just give me Your tiny spirit and I believe I'll be better soon.

Oh, Lord! I can't imagine how I face this world without Your energy.

Please, send me back Your spirit. Thanks a million :)

Zombiekah aku?

Keramaian menggaruk tanah yang kupijaki.
Samar-samar kutangkap maksudnya.
Aku bagai lilin yang berdiri tegak,
tapi hampir mati nyalaku, hangus ragaku.

Mimpiku menerangi, tapi aku turut bermutasi.
Hampir mati nyalaku, hangus ragaku.
Aku hampir jadi gelap.

Terseret aku,
tenggelam aku ke dalam badai.
Hampir mati aku, busuk ragaku.

Menangis aku,tertawa aku.
Menangis lagi, tertawa aku.
Hampir gila aku, hilang jiwaku.

Kosong aku.
Sendiri aku.
Hilang, hangus, busuk jiwa dan ragaku.
Zombiekah aku?

Cerita Malam Tadi

Hujan semalam memperdengarkan semaraknya.
Luar biasa! Aku pun dibuatnya terjaga. Mataku sampai membelalak mendengar suara runtuhnya.

Yang aku pikirkan, aku takut rumahku rubuh atau pepohonan tidak mampu bertahan melawan seringainya.
Tapi langsung saja kulanjutkan tidurku.

Dan sekarang aku bersyukur karena kemurahanNya, aku masih bisa menulis cerita tentang malam tadi. Langit menunjukkan lagi gelapnya alam. Satu yang kuharapkan  aku tidak ikutan galau dan menatap nanar kaca angkot.

Baiklah. Tetap semangat dan percaya kemurahan Tuhan tidak pernah meninggalkan kita!

SEMANGAT!

Gemerlap-Pencuri

Cahayanya memukau.
Gemerlapnya silaukan mata hatiku.
Perlahan ku tak sanggup bertahan dan akhirnya berujung pedih.

Aku terperanjat.
Merinding jadinya.
Aku mundur sejenak, kembali aku terperanjat. Ada tangan yang menggapai jemariku.
Lembut dan dingin.

Kembali aku terdiam,
yang terdengar hanyalah desahan nafasku.

"Baiklah, kali ini maunya apa akan kuladeni semuanya.." hatiku berkata.

Aku sudah menyiapkan semua jurus yang tidak pernah kupelajari.

Perlahan kubalikkan badanku,
ternyata dia.

"Kamu?"
"Ya, aku?"
"Kamu mencuri hatiku.."
"Lalu?"
"Aku tidak bisa hidup tanpa hatiku."
"..."
"Artinya aku harus hidup bersamamu."

Tersingkapnya kisah alam.

"Matahari bersembunyi dibalik awan-awan yang membentuk layar.
Tersingkaplah maksud alam, bersatunya hujan dan guruh.
Nyatalah kisah kasih antara hujan dan teduh.
Terdengar bisik-bisik makhluk mengantri menembus air yang luruh.
Tersingkaplah maksud alam, membentuk cerita hujan dan teduh.

Kisah baru telah jadi satu,
hujan dan guruh membentuk peluh bagi kami para makhlukMu."

Happy New Year, world!

What a wonderful Christmas. I could feel something different in the Christmas Eve, last week. I felt, I could grab the promises from God. And this year, 2012, I am going to do many things. I don't know how but I trust in my Lord I am more than a winner.

*sigh*

I am so sorry for every mistakes, God.
I did many bad things.
I left You, but You never leave me.
I know You're always right around me, in front of me, next to me and hold me in my weakest time.
Thank You for Your love, my Dearest LORD.
Please remind me every time I do wrong.

And now, January 2nd has come. Just want to yell,  

"HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012!"

We have wonderful God so we definetely have amazing life.

Remember, me and you have The Big Boss at every time of our life.

Big Amen!